it's a good sign when your birthday week kicks off with being on-call from work...and NOT getting called in. all. day. long.
it's an even greater sign when that same week kicks off with the entire day spent at home with g, neither of us going to work.
it's a good sign when your birthday week kicks off with a trip to susie cakes to buy your brownie and it just so happens to be "chocolate cake day." a free slice of cake AND a brownie!
it's an even greater sign when that same week kicks off with a chocolate overload and it just so happens to be the week that Mother Flow makes her monthly visit.
i may be one of those people who feels a little giddy around her birthday and milks it for a week...or two. but there's a lot to be said about completing a full year of life and jumping into a new one. i'm thankful, and for good reason. i can (and probably will) get into the nitty gritty of how i feel about 27, but for now, i'll take these good signs and just go with the flow. c'mon, it's birthday week!
1.27.2014
1.22.2014
garden envy
the truth about living in a studio in west la (in southern california, for that matter) is that it's almost impossible to have a garden. no plot of land means no vegetation. no rain for months, no fertile soil. no time and care, no bounty. and it's a shame.
how i would love to plant my own herbs and greens; tend to my compost for nutritive soil; enjoy the fruits of my labor - physically, visually, emotionally. the little green monster comes out when i see lush gardens in people's yards or showcased in magazines. garden envy, it's real.
until now.
g and i agreed no space, however small or dry, should limit our possibilities of having a garden. we thought about what our backyard was capable of maintaining and made a plan: herb troughs, potted plants, and succulents. no plot of land or rain required.
after a home depot spree, backyard rearranging, and hours of playing with soil, i feel overjoyed. our space has even more life as it breathes and grows, changes as the days change. g and i created the oasis i once envied, and now i couldn't feel more at home. (well, at least in our space)!
how i would love to plant my own herbs and greens; tend to my compost for nutritive soil; enjoy the fruits of my labor - physically, visually, emotionally. the little green monster comes out when i see lush gardens in people's yards or showcased in magazines. garden envy, it's real.
until now.
g and i agreed no space, however small or dry, should limit our possibilities of having a garden. we thought about what our backyard was capable of maintaining and made a plan: herb troughs, potted plants, and succulents. no plot of land or rain required.
after a home depot spree, backyard rearranging, and hours of playing with soil, i feel overjoyed. our space has even more life as it breathes and grows, changes as the days change. g and i created the oasis i once envied, and now i couldn't feel more at home. (well, at least in our space)!
1.17.2014
if it's going to be summer...
if you live in southern california, you might know a thing or two about the current heat wave. the january-meets-freakin'-july weather absurdity. i feel gypped. all year, i long for those cozy days spent wearing wool socks and fleece, preparing a hearty meal while something heavenly bakes away in the oven. yeah, that's not happening these winter days.
lately, it's been all about sleeping in my underwear with the fan blowing; dreaming up refreshing no-bake citrus treats; running in the early morning to beat the heat; and hoping with everything i've got that we will have a chance at this winter thing in the coming weeks - ahem, my birthday. i know i can't control nature's indecisiveness, so really, there's no use in fretting about what it gives us. instead, i will try my darnedest to embrace this annoyingly beautiful weather and go with the flow.
one positive thing about this summer in january is that it makes me think of summers past, particularly those trips when g and i were off doing something liberating, our spirits clinching every ethereal moment. and i have to admit, summertime is pretty good about those moments.
lately, it's been all about sleeping in my underwear with the fan blowing; dreaming up refreshing no-bake citrus treats; running in the early morning to beat the heat; and hoping with everything i've got that we will have a chance at this winter thing in the coming weeks - ahem, my birthday. i know i can't control nature's indecisiveness, so really, there's no use in fretting about what it gives us. instead, i will try my darnedest to embrace this annoyingly beautiful weather and go with the flow.
one positive thing about this summer in january is that it makes me think of summers past, particularly those trips when g and i were off doing something liberating, our spirits clinching every ethereal moment. and i have to admit, summertime is pretty good about those moments.
"they came to sit and dangle their feet off the edge of the world and after awhile they forgot everything but the good and true things they would do someday." - brian andreas
1.12.2014
another one bites the dust
what can i say? g and i use our stuff.
i always used to think that i was clumsy and awkward in the kitchen. there was never an ease with how i chopped with a knife or sliced with a mandoline. it took a lot of practice and time (and quite a few nicks and cuts) to feel comfortable.
so as i gained confidence in the kitchen, i joined forces with g, my culinary yoda. as i learned the tricks of the trade, we found ourselves spending a lot more time cooking together, doubling the use of our utensils. but naturally, with more use came more wear-and-tear...so much so that our trusty utensils croaked.
our most recent loss was our potato masher (may he rest in peace). we paid his last respects with a proper photo-op and then bid him farewell as joined the ranks with our old salad spinner, wooden spoon, mandoline, and can opener.
i used to be upset when our utensils kicked the bucket, midway through cooking. "stupid piece of junk," i'd say, frustrated that i'd have to improvise for the time being. but then my culinary yoda would gently reassure me that our utensils don't last because we actually use them...and often. "oh yeah? well maybe if they were made better..." i'd cheekily interject. and then g, with his yoda-like reasoning, would remind me that everything has a lifetime; embrace it.
1.07.2014
change of perspective
this afternoon, i sat down and had myself a cup of tea. i needed time to think. think about things i want to do in the coming months, how i want to do them, and why it's so damn difficult for me to actually do them. it all came down to los angeles.
this city is hard to deal with - the traffic, the crowds, the self-entitled residents and their snobby-ass dogs. you have to know how to navigate los angeles, sacrificing time and, dare i say, a little integrity in order to sustain yourself. i've traveled these past few years and i've experienced a life very different than one lived in a reckless, pretentious city. and the feeling penetrating my being upon return to los angeles: if only to be elsewhere.
but today as i thought about the things i want to do this year, it occurred to me that this city is one of the few places that actually allows me to do those things. like running on the beach; taking classes at a ceramics studio; spending more time hiking in the coastal mountains; trying new ethnic restaurants. we live in a truly remarkable place and yet i try so hard to fight it. i isolate myself from the goodness of it in every attempt to move on. but in so doing, i lose my sense of self - that person who lives in abundant joy, who looks at the world with caring eyes. los angeles isn't my enemy; it's my home. i can either choose to repel it with clenched fists or embrace it with open arms. it's a choice about how i want to live, and so i choose the latter.
i am who i am, doing what i do, loving the man i love because of los angeles. and i am grateful for it - this fantastically charismatic city, this home of mine.
this city is hard to deal with - the traffic, the crowds, the self-entitled residents and their snobby-ass dogs. you have to know how to navigate los angeles, sacrificing time and, dare i say, a little integrity in order to sustain yourself. i've traveled these past few years and i've experienced a life very different than one lived in a reckless, pretentious city. and the feeling penetrating my being upon return to los angeles: if only to be elsewhere.
but today as i thought about the things i want to do this year, it occurred to me that this city is one of the few places that actually allows me to do those things. like running on the beach; taking classes at a ceramics studio; spending more time hiking in the coastal mountains; trying new ethnic restaurants. we live in a truly remarkable place and yet i try so hard to fight it. i isolate myself from the goodness of it in every attempt to move on. but in so doing, i lose my sense of self - that person who lives in abundant joy, who looks at the world with caring eyes. los angeles isn't my enemy; it's my home. i can either choose to repel it with clenched fists or embrace it with open arms. it's a choice about how i want to live, and so i choose the latter.
"be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need."
- sarah ban breathnach
i am who i am, doing what i do, loving the man i love because of los angeles. and i am grateful for it - this fantastically charismatic city, this home of mine.
1.03.2014
onward
welcome, 2014!
g and i celebrated the new year in our pajamas, tucked in bed, with bellies full of pasta. it was a grand entrance - all ten minutes of it - until we fell asleep. it was the first time we had been together on new year's eve, as both of our jobs usually require us to work that night. but this year, this exciting new year, was different. it was almost as if fate left us with no choice but to be together, just the two of us.
last night, we sat at the bar of father's office, chatting over burgers and beer. comfort food and contemplation. we talked about 2013 and what it meant for us, naming it the "year of decisions." it was the year we decided to stay in los angeles a little longer; the year we decided to travel a bit more; the year we decided to get engaged; and the year we decided on the plans for our future.
and now here we are in 2014, which we named the "year of doing." neither of us believe in making resolutions, but we both feel strongly about making goals fueled by hope. this year, we're taking our plans and putting them into action: saving money for our move up north; meeting g's mother and grandmother; finally working on a vertical succulent garden (i've been wanting to do this forever!); and making our union official as we say "i do."
i feel good about this year, 2014. there are exciting times ahead of us, and although i hope for the best, i recognize we will inevitably face challenges. so with that, here's to a year of health, happiness, and the strength to move onward...always guided by love.
g and i celebrated the new year in our pajamas, tucked in bed, with bellies full of pasta. it was a grand entrance - all ten minutes of it - until we fell asleep. it was the first time we had been together on new year's eve, as both of our jobs usually require us to work that night. but this year, this exciting new year, was different. it was almost as if fate left us with no choice but to be together, just the two of us.
last night, we sat at the bar of father's office, chatting over burgers and beer. comfort food and contemplation. we talked about 2013 and what it meant for us, naming it the "year of decisions." it was the year we decided to stay in los angeles a little longer; the year we decided to travel a bit more; the year we decided to get engaged; and the year we decided on the plans for our future.
and now here we are in 2014, which we named the "year of doing." neither of us believe in making resolutions, but we both feel strongly about making goals fueled by hope. this year, we're taking our plans and putting them into action: saving money for our move up north; meeting g's mother and grandmother; finally working on a vertical succulent garden (i've been wanting to do this forever!); and making our union official as we say "i do."
i feel good about this year, 2014. there are exciting times ahead of us, and although i hope for the best, i recognize we will inevitably face challenges. so with that, here's to a year of health, happiness, and the strength to move onward...always guided by love.
12.30.2013
overflow
i don't know how to describe the immense elation that is overflowing from very being right now. IMMENSE.
last week was spent at home with my family - a celebration of the season and new beginnings. we had our fair share of cocktails, feasts, story-telling, and abundant merriment. i'm not gonna lie, but there were a few times when i missed being in our space, doing the things g and i do routinely. however, my fits of temporary longing were overcome by the warmth of mama's hug, the gusto of daddy's laugh, and the comfort of my childhood home, festive and bright.
last week was spent at home with my family - a celebration of the season and new beginnings. we had our fair share of cocktails, feasts, story-telling, and abundant merriment. i'm not gonna lie, but there were a few times when i missed being in our space, doing the things g and i do routinely. however, my fits of temporary longing were overcome by the warmth of mama's hug, the gusto of daddy's laugh, and the comfort of my childhood home, festive and bright.
and then there was more overflow. like a crazy, heart-wrenching, uncontainable overflow of love. my favorite people (aside from my parents) joined over the breaking of bread at our abode. emma and her beau, abby, brent, and my squeeze.
it was the grandest of times, all of us coming from different places, gathering at the table under the common belief that friendship is insurmountable. i can't even count how many times my eyes glistened with tears of joy as i looked around me and saw some of the most influential people within arm's reach. jubilation. pure jubilation.
so i end this final post of 2013 with a full heart. it was an incredible year, definitely one to go in the book of "favorites." and i feel that if this past week is any indication of the future, 2014 will be pretty damn swell.
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