meditating

this month, i've found myself in a particularly meditative state - something i once feared, but now savor. it was the sense of surrender that caught me off guard, the will and capacity to get lost in deep contemplation. how much easier it is to see the surface, to face the facts, and be on my merry way. but this month, i've felt this yearning to search within - to reflect, reminisce, and ask/seek/do the tough things.

i recently started pottery classes, which have been vital in allowing me to be more intentional about my thoughts. working on the wheel, i must focus and deliberate. i must use my entire body and strength to center my piece. i must use equal pressure in my fingers as i raise the sides. the moment i let something distract me, it becomes physically manifested in my work. meditation - pottery has certainly opened the door to mediation (and humility!). 

tomorrow marks the four-year anniversary that g and i met, and although we will be celebrating a whole new kind of anniversary in a couple of months (!!), i can't help but meditate on the importance of this day: july 25th. there will always be anniversaries for "the first kiss" or the "first time i said i love you." weddings are anniversaries in-and-of themselves, and who can negate the anniversary of your child's birth? but the day we met...how many people are celebrating that date with as much gusto?

july 25, 2010 changed the entire course of my life. it was the day i let someone in, and in so doing, learn about love. it was the day that would begin my journey through self-discovery, as i would soon realize that it's NOT all about me. i am forever thankful for that day, when the love of my life looked at me in the eyes and never turned away. 

july 25th is most definitely not a by-gone anniversary; rather, i celebrate it as the day that launched me to identify - and live - the very purpose of my life: to love and be loved.

happy anniversary, g. 

our first photo together, july 2010

our most recent photo together, july 2014

things are lookin' alright

once upon a year ago, i had a mad rush to move out of this city. the stress at work, the endless traffic, the self-entitled people with their imposing diet restrictions and manicured everything - i had enough of it. and when you have a picturesque dream city in mind (ahem, seattle), it makes the urge to move that much greater.

until now.

over this past year, i have come to re-appreciate this grand ol' city. my position at work has progressed, as i've earned my credibility as an L&D nurse. our home sweet home is truly one-of-a-kind, a hidden gem that feels like "us." the temperate weather that allows me to be outdoors all year long - running, hiking, swimming, sitting outside lazily embracing an afternoon tea.

and then there are these other things...

...like being a 5-hour drive from these spectacular views.

and eating, drinking, and napping outside.

going to world-renown venues (go bruins!!) to watch eclectic performances by creative people (can i get an eight-clap for ira glass?!)

and then there are those friends who are family, those few people who make this crazy city feel like home.

i had to grow up a bit to understand why i'm here, now. i had to open my eyes to the good around me, to the amazing opportunities in front of me, and to the love that was born in this very zip code. 

los angeles, i'll shut up now. thank you for putting up with my doubt. this is home. 

p.s. emma, if you read this, know that you were one of the firsts to help make this city feel like home. thank you for exploring our surroundings with me in college...those dates will always be cherished!