what to do? what to do?

next tuesday, g is leaving for peru for two weeks to visit family. it will essentially be the "europe trip" i had with mama last year, but for him. the wheels are now turned, and i will be home alone...with chase. 

this won't be the longest time spent away from each other, but boy, oh boy, will it be tough. sure, i'm going to enjoy baking with my music blasting, but for whom will i be baking? i look forward to waking up at the crack of dawn without worrying about making too much noise, but with whom will i drink my morning tea? and the cleaning! you better believe i'm excited about dusting the shelves, mopping the floors, and scrubbing the stove, but with whom will i enjoy a spotless studio?

are you catching my drift?

i very much appreciate my quiet time and i always have. but now that i live with g, i realize how much of my life is shared with him. five years ago, i would have been dying for alone time, counting the days for freedom. my, have times changed. i now look forward to sharing the everyday moments with someone, reaffirming that i don't live on a lonely island. 

pity party aside, i'm excited for g to reconnect with his family. obviously, i'll miss the guy, but this may be a good time for me to remember what it was like when it was just me, the creature of habit and routine.

bon voyage, my love! you will be missed!

a happy birthday indeed

yesterday we celebrated g's birthday. and it was a happy day, indeed.

given that it was a sunday, we didn't know if we should keep it quiet, just the two of us, or host a dinner party. i don't even know why we had to contemplate those options. we were long overdue for a feast with friends, so that's exactly what we did. and it was great.

as with any dinner party, we planned our menu, hit the markets, prepped, and cooked. all day long. at first, i felt bad that g spent his birthday in the kitchen with me, but then again, that's what we enjoy doing: spending time with each other, playing with food, listening to music, and sharing with others.

the birthday boy in his groove

the necessary mess

we invited six guests for a six course meal that lasted for six lovely hours. unfortunately, i didn't take any photos through the night, but rather captured the before and after. come to think of it, it was better that way. we all enjoyed our time eating, drinking, talking, and celebrating my old man's big day. 

the charcuterie before guests arrive

signs of a great night

seeing g enjoy himself with some of his closest friends made my heart melt. however corny or cliche this sounds, i am so happy g brought in this new year with so much joy because, in all honesty, he deserves to feel prized. 

happy birthday, my old man!

i love it when...

i love it when...

...mama visits for a weekend.

...we indulge in mid-afternoon treats.

...there is awesome art hanging in the bathroom. 

...i sit at home like a lazy bum and watch sex and the city with g.

...there is a trip to be planned. and lists to make.

...we are dancing to the lumineers and chase joins in.

and i love it most when i feel like the sun is shining on this one big ride called life.

rock-climbing, it's not for everyone

it's time to face the facts: we weren't all created to do/enjoy everything, even if we think to ourselves "i know i'm going to LOVE this because, really, how could i not?"

i just realized rock climbing is that for me.

months ago, g and i purchased a groupon deal for one month of unlimited access to a rock climbing gym. we love to hike, ride bikes, swim, practice yoga, run, and just be outdoors in general. naturally, rock climbing seemed like the next great activity to add to our repertoire. and it was...for the first day.

our first day, g and i had a blast climbing the indoor boulders. it was like a playground for adults. hardcore adults. you could tell in an instant that these people use the rock climbing gym for everyday practice. their lean, toned bodies just screamed I SCALE MOUNTAINS WITH MY BARE HANDS. OH, AND BY THE WAY, I WAS ON THE COVER OF YOUR PATAGONIA CATALOG LAST MONTH!!!

surprisingly, we weren't intimidated. we just enjoyed the challenge. after a couple of hours, we walked away feeling excited about our new hobby, imagining the trips we could take once we got the hang of it.

so we went back later that week. and we left after 20 minutes. at the time, we attributed our short stay to the soreness lingering from the first day.

today, two weeks later, g and i decided it would be a rock climbing day. however, when we were planning on what time to go, there was a subtle i don't really want to do it today in our voices. what the heck?! weren't we so gung-ho about it just a couple of weeks ago? where did that excitement go? the future trips? so we did what anyone would do in our state of internal conflict: flip a coin. heads, we go. tails, we don't.

let's just say the universe didn't want us to go, which is why i am sitting here writing this post. maybe the coin flip was symbolic of our reality: we just aren't that into rock climbing. and that's okay.

breakfast obsession

i'm realizing i have an obsession with breakfast. eggs, prepared every which way. toast and spreads. pancakes. quiches, muffins, oatmeal. basically, anything and all things. but if you know me in the slightest, you know that my daily breakfast is far from the aforementioned list. so what's with the obsession?

i am 100% that person who sticks to the same breakfast, or some variant of it, every single day. some type of cereal or granola, yogurt, and fruit. it's a no-fuss mix, keeping me satisfied through the morning without lulling me into a food coma. it's been a tried and true breakfast through the years, never letting me down.

but i'm also 100% that person who enjoys reading through the breakfast items on a menu at a cafe; who gets tickled every time a breakfast section appears in bon appetit or food and wine magazine; who will do a close-up of breakfast photos taken on instagram by others. with this attention focused on breakfast items, i know deep down that i won't be that person who actually eats those things for breakfast. 

it's not to say that i don't like the quiches and baked eggs and jammed-up toasts. it's just that i don't like them for breakfast. they throw my body for a loop, either filling me up too much for a morning run or leaving me empty-handed somehow, someway. 

so i figure in order to get my "breakfast fix" and try new things like the rest of america, i can enjoy these breakfast items for dinner, where anything goes. and to be honest, i would rather eat a hearty frittata and roasted potatoes with a glass of wine over a cup of tea any day. 

in the meantime, the breakfast obsession continues.

fear as an indicator

i fear as much as the next person. everything from traveling without a gps, to planning a move to an entirely different state. and i notice that this fear of mine can be quite limiting. i begin to make excuses for NOT pursuing the thing i fear, running thoughts through my mind like you can try that yoga position when you become more flexible. just don't stretch yourself now.

and so then i don't do it. i allow myself to stay perfectly content with life just the way it is.

but where do i go from there?

a couple of weeks ago, it all made sense. while reading through one of my favorite blogs, not without salt, i was inspired by a passage she included from The Art of War:

"are you paralyzed with fear? that's a good sign. fear is good. like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. fear tells us what we have to do. remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it."

fear is an indicator. wow!

strangely enough, the first fear that popped into my head was homemade yogurt. you know, that non-threatening white stuff you eat for breakfast. i always feared making my own, forcing myself to believe that i will forever be a consumer of the product. the precise temperatures; the live cultures; the cheesecloth; the process...the HORROR!

feeling inspired, i knew i had to tackle it. face my fear and be a producer. homemade yogurt.

the planning

the assembly

two worlds collide

the incubating

the straining

the happy girl

i have to admit, this homemade-yogurt-nonsensical-fear of mine turned out to be a very fulfilling experience. witnessing the process of single ingredients come into form, over the course of a day, was pretty amazing. and yummy. i know that this may sound like a total yawner to some, but to me, well, i feel immense accomplishment. that everyday business in the refrigerator no longer has to be bought, day in and day out. instead, i can create. and i can do it without fear.