reveling in this light

"even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth, 

'you owe me.' look what happens with a love like that. 

it lights the whole sky."  -hafiz

g, thank you for lighting my sky.

pinch me

here's a little something to whet your appetite...

in a matter of days, g and i will be bobbing our heads and slapping our knees (or some version of having a good time) to the national. someone, pinch me, because i can hardly wait! i've been wanting to see these guys perform for years, but never took the chance to check out their tour dates. on a whim last week, i searched online and lo and behold (!!) they were going to be in los angeles this tuesday for a show. you better believe i jumped on those tickets - my heart racing at the thought of listening to them LIVE. i think i may have even shed a tear.

each of their albums takes me back to a specific moment, as music so often does. i hear a particular song from high violet and am immediately taken to our last trip to seattle - driving out of the the city to hike one of our favorite trails at mount si. or i think about my dad saying that i'm "playing that music too much" as we drove my parents in the rental car to the ballard locks. and how could i forget those songs in the album that remind me of driving through puerto rico - the windows rolled down, the humidity caving in, me and g clenching the moment when there wasn't a care in the world.

then there is the album, trouble will find me. when i hear songs from this album, i can smell the cornmeal cake i was baking, i can feel the hot water from my shower, i can see the coastline as we drove to big sur to run a race. boxer, probably my favorite album, just makes me think about this unique time in my life - the transitions and growth, the hope for goodness sake. it's all-encompassing.

and so that's it. that is why i am so excited to be in the presence of the band that will forever represent one of the greatest periods in my life. i'm trembling just thinking about it!

finally

after years of scanning through cook's illustrated while waiting in line at Whole Foods; eyeing the magazine at bookstores; and using adapted recipes posted in some of my favorite blogs, i did it. i finally subscribed to cook's illustrated!

if you are familiar with this magazine, then you understand my excitement (and are probably wondering what took this long for me to get my act together). on the other hand, if you know nothing about this gem, then let me give a quick blurb about its amazingness.

cook's illustrated is a magazine dedicated to people who enjoy being in the kitchen, whether it be cooking, baking, experimenting, learning, la la la. but let me make something clear: it's NOT a recipe-laden, photo-hogging, advertisement-filled food magazine. rather, it's more of a textbook, reading guide, map-through-the-kitchen kinda thing. the people who contribute to the body of cook's illustrated are normal, everyday people who happen to work in a "test kitchen" where they attempt to solve some of our dilemmas or trial different instruments or taste different condiments or showcase what's in season  and, really, the list goes on. and of course, there are fantastic recipes sprinkled throughout.

but what i think i love most about this magazine is that it explains why and how things turn out the way they do - the chemistry of it. protein structures, oxidation, chemical bonds, solvents....it takes me back to those days in college, sitting in the front row, my mind being blown away with the details of the subject. in cook's illustrated, experts provide the evidence and the writers cleverly incorporate the facts into the articles, making the science of the kitchen a fascinating read.

i could go on and on about this magazine, but i'll practice some restraint. just go read the damn thing!

way to go!

these past few months have been big months for daddy. HUGE months, actually. after much time contemplating the start of his own business, he finally took the leap of faith and moved forward. if you know my dad at all, then you know how hard he works - how he has the hands of precision, the focus of a mastermind, the lifetime knowledge of complex machinery and design.

with a wealth of experience, daddy has earned this position of "being his own boss" - calling his own shots, managing his own equipment, developing a clientele to entrust him in building key parts for their own businesses. and he deserves it, to be here.

it has been a grueling few months for him, making hefty investments, finding a workspace, sifting through all the logistics and permits, licenses and little pain-in-the-ass details know one ever considers. but he did it. and he's doing it now. daddy has come so far, and i couldn't be more proud. through the heartache and hesitation, the challenges and doubt, he has chosen to move forward - to rise above. every time he wanted to wash it down the drain, he remembered why this was important to him in the first place: freedom.

surely, i can't continue without mentioning how incredible it has been to witness the evolvement of my parents' relationship. approaching their 30th wedding anniversary, they exemplify the commitment, support, and friendship it takes to build a marriage...and keep it strong. when my dad has doubt, my mom reminds him of his faith. when my dad is anxious, my mom carries his calm. when he wants to celebrate with a margarita, my mom is there to toast. this business venture is much more than a step into work independence; it is another thread being sewn into the fabric of my parents' lifetime together.

so, daddy, here's to you and all the amazing things you are doing. it takes a strong person to start from scratch and an even stronger person to keep going. and when it seems a little foggy or dark out there, remember that you have two ladies who will always be by your side, shining for you...loving you.

in his new workshop

please don't go

as the sun sets later and the flowers bloom, i begin to feel a little unnerved. sure, we have some nice things coming our way, but i cringe at the thought of losing our glorious bounty of winter citrus. the grapefruits and clementines, blood oranges and meyer lemons. i'm not ready to leap into berries or apricots...i just can't.

i will miss my mornings, slicing segments of grapefruit over the sink, feeling the juice dripping to my elbows as i savor every last bitter bite. salads won't be the same without slices of cara cara oranges, and sweet treats will just have to find a new direction, away from that citrusy zest i so love. 

it's been a great season (perhaps a little too great as far as citrus is concerned), but it's not over yet. as long as the aisles gleam of orange and yellow hues, i will be satisfying this winter tummy with unbelievable joy.

fresh air

march came around, and with it, rain. RAIN! i almost forgot what it felt like to fall asleep to the soothing sound of raindrops, to walk through deep puddles, to run with fresh air filling my lungs.

ever since i started swimming laps, i've felt less of a need to run. (which scares the hell out of me since running is my everything)! the ease and flow, the steady motion, the full body workout that comes with swimming have brought so much balance into my everyday. just as i find solace through the steps of my run, i am able to seek refuge in the strokes of my swim. and it's a glorious thing - to to be stripped of the daily grind as i take a breath in, out.

but as the rain cleared the air, wiped away the grit, i felt a tremendous urge to run. an obligation to run. it was as if my body knew that i needed to be outside, replenishing my lungs with new air, bathing my body with the perfect chill. my run this morning reminded me why i do it, rather than solely swim: it keeps me in tune with nature, and as such, i am reawakened.

and it was all because of the rain.