odds, ends, and treasures

the other afternoon, my mom and i took a trip to a local antique shop. i love antique shops. the old, the classic, the charm, and of course, the odd - all in one. i also love the concept of antique shops: come in, peruse the aisles, laugh, contemplate, and TAKE YOUR TIME. there's a story around every corner. we just have to explore it. 

smelling the roses

if there is one thing to know about me, it's this: flowers inspire me. fresh flowers of all kinds. the life, the color, the joy. these past few mornings, i can't help but stop to smell the roses. quite literally and absolutely figuratively. flowers have a seductive presence, casting a spell over the passersby, and inevitably invalidating any prospect of completing a moment's thought. i run and then i stop. i walk down aisles at the market, and again, i stop. i sit here, trying to write this post, only to find myself stopping. and i think that's what i love about fresh flowers. they are so beautifully powerful that they remind me to stop. and be captivated. and be present.

my good morning sunshines

i am reading a wonderful memoir about an australian expat living in paris. i think he describes my sentiment perfectly:

"the term flaneur exists only in french, describing a person who spends entire days wandering aimlessly with the express purpose of doing little more than taking in whatever he sees. a french man is never in danger of running too quickly past the roses to ever stop and smell them. a french man is forever lolling about in the rose bed, happily avoiding the rat race and concentrating on the serious business of simply being."

here's to life.

a right to health

march 23, 2010. a day marked with risks and reform, debate and victory. the health care bill is signed into law! i believe it is a reawakening, a bold statement that we are going to challenge the status quo. and why not? health care for all should not be a partisan or political issue. it should be a right. and thanks to this legislation, that right will be a reality for 32 million more people. for those questioning the constitutionality of the health care bill - all i can say is this: where is the justice in denying health care?

sure, the administration "shook it up" a bit. but it's about time! may we always have faith. and health.

going home

today is my first full day - of a weeklong visit - at home. escondido. born and raised. after five years of making a "home" in la, i have to admit that there's nothing greater than the comfort of home. life in la seems go-go-go, a million things to do. but when i come home, life just is. almost as if nothing changes. ever. here i am, going through all these transitions, trying to figure things out...an internal whirlwind. and then i come home. to my parents. to my hometown. and for a moment, i am completely grounded. 

daddy and mama

baxter and molly

since i haven't been home in a few months, i noticed that my senses were heightened when i arrived. they were captivated by a distant familiarity. intense! sight. smell. touch. taste. sound - all overwhelmingly magnified. in a few words, here is my experience...

sight: lush green trees. front yards. traffic that is actually moving. $2.93 gas prices (as opposed to the $3.27 i paid in la). more green, green, green!

smell: blooming flowers and fruit trees. mama's perfume. the dogs' blankets. barbecues. brewing coffee.

touch: tight hugs and soft kisses (courtesy of ma and pa). unrelenting licking (courtesy of molly and baxter). sunlight warmth from sitting in the patio. extreme water pressure.

taste: three words: daddy grilling outside.

sound: snoring. lawn mowers. jingling dog collars. politics. house lines. fountain. "helllloooo" from the neighbor.

ah, home sweet home.

people who run and smile :o)

when i go on my morning run, i cross paths with four types of people. i don't mean to categorize, but this is an exception...

first, there's the runner who looks straight ahead. focused. intent. eye on the prize. you don't have a chance if you get in their way...they will continue on. it makes me wonder what they're running to. a gourmet breakfast, perhaps?

next is the runner who looks at the ground. and probably for good reason. the holes, dips, bumps, puddles, and occasional doggy doo can set you off track if you're not alert. however, when i cross paths with these people, i'm in survival mode. i have to dodge them to prevent a collision.

oh, and the people who make brief eye contact - but serious eye contact. these people scare me. they make me feel like i'm in some kind of race, like they are my competitors. i don't know, maybe they look serious because they have a lot going on in their mind. or maybe they're just serious people.

and then there are the people who run and smile. they could be looking straight ahead, at the ground, or directly at you...with a smile. these people are my favorite. i always wonder what brings a smile to their face. are they in such good shape that nothing phases them? are they humming a playful tune in their head? are they experiencing the runner's high, manifested as a smile? whatever the reason, i can't help but smile back.

people who run and smile give me a jolt of energy. a push, if you will. at that very moment, there is an exchange of happiness. of fellowship. smiling is already special, but when i receive a smile from someone who is breathing hard, sweating, pushing their body to the max -- well, it just goes to show that there are no excuses for not spreading a little joy. something as simple as a smile can go a long way. even on the trail.

great expectations...maybe not

ten weeks, 300 hours, and a few dozen deliveries. i am sad to say my clinical immersion in labor & delivery has come to an end. wow! what an incredible experience! but if i had to sum up what i've learned into two words, it'd be this: no expectations.

oh, how often couples came in with their elaborate birth plans: no iv. dim lights. keep the placenta. a mirror to see the head crowning. only daddy announces the sex. and absolutely NO epidural. i loved the birth plans. they were personal. but how often did those plans go out the door. the ideal and all the expectations. gone. sometimes it was the baby showing signs of distress. other times it was too quick of a delivery. but most often, it was because the pain was simply unbearable. the epidural didn't seem so taboo after all.

now, i much rather prefer the natural delivery. but when pain gets in the way of the mama experiencing the beauty of the moment, something needs to be done...even if it is the epidural. clearly, the couples who expected the natural breathe-breathe-push method were disappointed when they resorted to something less "ideal." however, when their expectations were gone...oh, the freedom! the joy! the comfort! when everything was left at the door, attention was re-focused to what mattered most: the baby. in the end, the iv didn't matter. the mirror - who cares? and the epidural - thank goodness. hearing that first cry and feeling that creamy skin...now that's amore!

so maybe all those "plans" we have - of doing this and that, here and there - are distracting us from that first breath of life. that cry. that silky skin. maybe our control and sense of solidity need to be left at the door, or thrown out the window. perhaps we'd be better off doing the unexpected.

final word: this is dedicated to all the couples who allowed me to be a part of welcoming their bundle of joy. it has been an honor.

a change of pace

i am quite the advocate for afternoon teatime. the perfect boost between lunch and dinner. over the past few years, i have been fortunate to discover a number of cafés, all catering to the siesta-minded. and of course, i am proud to say i'm a regular.

however, being a regular often means being comfortable - with a drink, a table, a snack, you name it. this isn't the case at my favorite local french café, which i refer to as my "quaint hideaway." come 2 pm, i am there, ordering my usual tea - my comfort - but always walking away with a DIFFERENT treat. does this qualify me as an unregular, someone who is unpredictable when it comes to treats? at my quaint hideaway, i guess so. honestly, though, how can one decide when there are so many to choose from? macaroons. choux creme. tarte fromage. chocolate almond croissant. i can't imagine adopting a "usual" here. it would be a disservice to the palate. and to the appetite.

having tried something new every time, i was ready for more. usually, a specific treat beckons - hollers, if you will.  one day, fruity. the next day, buttery. but today was different. i just couldn't decide. i was torn between fresh (probably because of this weather) and decadent (well, just because). back and forth, what to do? and then i found it: a strawberry mousse tart! the perfect combination to satisfy my indecisiveness. light and sweet, yet creamy and rather luxurious. oh, my poor tastebuds...i'm sure they'll be confused. i haven't eaten my treat yet, but i don't doubt it will be amazing. even as a regular, i have to admit that a change of pace may be worth it.

a welcoming invite

choice drink: tea

the natural heater

i'm not a huge fan of daylight savings for two reasons. first, with the days getting darker later, attempts at mood lighting are postponed. and second, it marks the beginning of spring which is closer to summer which means time is going by way too fast. can't we just slow down a bit?

however, on days like today, i welcome the change. first thing on my agenda this morning was to open the windows. and i don't mean just the blinds (which is the first thing i do anyways), but the actual windows. let me preface that as much as i enjoy the charm of my apartment, i can definitely do without the complete lack of insulation. warm outside, cold inside. cold outside, freezing inside. but today was different. i opened the shutter-like windows to let the warmth in, and the rest is history.

there is nothing like an instant, fool-proof, free-of-charge, natural heater. Warm Temperature Outside, i am finally pleased to introduce you to Warm Temperature Inside. the soft breeze gently dancing through the rooms was definitely an added benefit. it was like sitting on a porch, and i loved it. i almost didn't want to go outside to enjoy the beautiful day. almost.

a word on markets

one of the joys of being in such close proximity to a handful of farmer's markets is that you get to be a self-proclaimed critic of food in its freshest, most raw form. on saturday, i ventured to the santa monica market, which of course was packed with the steadfast shoppers and their lists of ingredients. i didn't have the intention of buying anything in particular. whatever caught my eye - that's all. now when i shop, i examine. i do a run-through of the strip. size. color. texture. it all matters. i love tasting the samples...a preview for the tastebuds. so up and down we go (me and mama) until i spot the perfect oranges. heavy for their size? yes. slightly thin peel and smooth surface? yes and yes. four oranges and a dollar later, we had the ultimate sweet, juicy, dripping-down-your-arm-but-it-doesn't-matter experience. that heedful eye was worth it.

this morning, i did my weekly sunday visit to the brentwood market. the smaller crowds give me a chance to chat with the growers and ask which bunch of carrots would be sweetest, where should the red potatoes be stored to extend life, are the dried cherries pitted? although i enjoy my lessons, i love being the food critic even more. again, my attention was drawn to the oranges. however, as perfect as they looked, they just didn't match up to the trembling-at-the-knees experience at the santa monica market. but i didn't let that bring me down. i was motivated. some carrots, onions, and a lemon later, the apples were beckoning. i did my taste test before buying. too tart. nothing special. ho hum. then wow! just perfect! this pink lady is THE one. crisp, sweet, fragrant...everything a lady should be. 


at the end of the day, i understand that not every market will be the same. and thank goodness for that. sure, i might not get that apple or orange experience every time, but i think it's the spirit - that freedom - of being attentive to the foods around us that makes any day at the market a special one. the hint of soil and the unintended spot give the impression that they're not hiding anything. REAL. and isn't that just what a food critic wants?