great expectations...maybe not

ten weeks, 300 hours, and a few dozen deliveries. i am sad to say my clinical immersion in labor & delivery has come to an end. wow! what an incredible experience! but if i had to sum up what i've learned into two words, it'd be this: no expectations.

oh, how often couples came in with their elaborate birth plans: no iv. dim lights. keep the placenta. a mirror to see the head crowning. only daddy announces the sex. and absolutely NO epidural. i loved the birth plans. they were personal. but how often did those plans go out the door. the ideal and all the expectations. gone. sometimes it was the baby showing signs of distress. other times it was too quick of a delivery. but most often, it was because the pain was simply unbearable. the epidural didn't seem so taboo after all.

now, i much rather prefer the natural delivery. but when pain gets in the way of the mama experiencing the beauty of the moment, something needs to be done...even if it is the epidural. clearly, the couples who expected the natural breathe-breathe-push method were disappointed when they resorted to something less "ideal." however, when their expectations were gone...oh, the freedom! the joy! the comfort! when everything was left at the door, attention was re-focused to what mattered most: the baby. in the end, the iv didn't matter. the mirror - who cares? and the epidural - thank goodness. hearing that first cry and feeling that creamy skin...now that's amore!

so maybe all those "plans" we have - of doing this and that, here and there - are distracting us from that first breath of life. that cry. that silky skin. maybe our control and sense of solidity need to be left at the door, or thrown out the window. perhaps we'd be better off doing the unexpected.

final word: this is dedicated to all the couples who allowed me to be a part of welcoming their bundle of joy. it has been an honor.