always the host

gezelligheid:

type: abstract noun

language: dutch

meaning: gezelligheid is at the core of dutch culture. it's an atmosphere, a vibe, a serendipitous togetherness, an aesthetic, a relaxed mood, a feeling of flow, a sense of belonging. no matter where you are or what you're doing, it describes the sensation of being at home…  

                                              --kinfolk, words by louisa thomsen brits

i've come to realize during these roaring twenties that i am a forever host. on rare occasions, i may be a party-goer, but for the most part, i will be that person who plans, preps, parties, and wraps it all up at the end. it's a title (quality?) i'm pretty sure i inherited from my mother. growing up, it was never a question where the holidays would be celebrated. my parents' home was always the epicenter of gatherings. my mother has this magical quality about her: she opens her humble home to others, invites them to take refuge from the everyday stresses, nourishes them with food and warmth, and does it all amidst her current responsibilities and forward-moving life. it was, and continues to be, a joy for her.

when g and i first started dating, i learned he was also a forever host. his dinnerware, linens, and kitchen utensils suggested that he was no amateur in the hosting world. in fact, the first dinner party we hosted together opened my eyes to g's superman-like ability to multitask the prepping, cooking, and cleaning in such a way that guests arrived bewildered to how everything came together so effortlessly. he had an ease about hosting, very much like my mother. i knew early on that i had met my match, the partner who wouldn't hesitate to claim the host title with me. 

it's interesting, though. as much as i love being a host, i sometimes wish we would be the guests. a lot of time and effort is invested into hosting a party, regardless of its size or occasion. and being forever hosts, g and i have self-imposed expectations: what we serve, how we serve it, and what kind of atmosphere we want to create. but then i think back to my childhood, when it was impossible for me to imagine not being the host family. we had a way of doing things; it felt right. these days, especially during this festive season, i have that same sentiment - of putting myself in the shoes of the forever guest and, instead, preferring to be the host.

when g and i host, we find solace in the actualization of said gathering. our individual ideas and combined passion fuel us to work together and share with our guests the fruit of our collaboration. it's a solidifying experience, to say the least. g and i embrace these roles wholeheartedly, for it's this position that allows us to give to others what we feel has been instilled in us: love.

from our holiday party, hosted this weekend: