never the same

i come to this space, almost two weeks after g and i tied the knot. i have to admit, it's tough sitting here, writing about the most ethereal experience of our lives. do you know that feeling of indescribable joy, the kind that makes your heart tremble with just a mere thought of something/someone? the feeling that brings tears to your eyes because it feels so raw and divine and spiritual? that is how i feel about our wedding and the weekend surrounding it.

g and i chose to get married on the cliffs of big sur, with our parents and two closest friends as witnesses. it was an easy decision to choose our location, as the dynamic forces of the waves against the jagged cliffs illustrated a powerful, yet glorious, image. it was important for us to have an intimate group of guests, as they would be witness to our vulnerability, our naked emotion.

the entire weekend spent in carmel with our guests was a harbinger of the beauty and sentiment of our wedding. each person traveled from some place different, leaving everything behind, to bless us with positive energy. we were family, uniting in celebration, toasting to happiness.

the day of the wedding will forever be engrained in my heart. we all gathered at a quaint cafe for breakfast and then parted ways, as guests explored town and i started to get ready. i have vivid mental images of mama helping me slip into my gown, adorning me with beauty, preparing me for the woman i would soon embrace. it was a significant moment - the shedding of my former skin and the acquisition of wisdom from this woman who gave me life, and gave me the world in so doing.

in the late afternoon, daddy and i drove to the ceremony site, where we would meet g and our guests. an incredible peace settled over me during that 15-minute drive. here i was with daddy, the man who loved me first, the man who instilled in me great strength and judgment, the man who ultimately taught me what a loving husband looks like. and then we locked arms and walked the most important steps i would ever walk, together. it was our moment, daddy and me. every step was one step closer to the rest of my life, and i felt honored to have been guided by this man.

our ceremony is still very vibrant in my mind. as the sun set, g and i stood hand-in-hand, feeling the intense energy surrounding us. we locked eyes and never looked away, as our officiant spoke truth into our hearts. i will never forget the way g looked, his eyes wet with joy, his smile radiating with love. we said our vows to one another with the most peace and confidence we could possibly muster. my heart danced gracefully with every moment closer to our union as one. each word spoken through our ceremony was personal and life-giving. we said "i do" to a future together, to all its storms and renewed light. we said "i do" to the valleys and the journey to the peaks. and we said "i do" to each other, to friendship and companionship, to a life spent eternally together.

after toasting with champagne, dancing on the cliff, and climbing on some rocks (!!!), we celebrated at one of our favorite restaurants in carmel. we broke bread, we drank wine, we gathered in a way similar to how g and i always enjoy: a great dinner party with those we love.

the night ended beautifully as did the weekend. g and i said our goodbyes to our guests and traveled to yosemite for a reflective and inspiring honeymoon. we are settled back home, husband and wife, excited for the unknowns and journey ahead. i couldn't feel more blessed in my life, being here, feeling the way i do. people have asked if i feel different, and truth is, i absolutely feel different. it's not about "me" anymore...it's about us, and i have the privilege to honor, and hold sacred, this partnership with the man i love. and lemme tell you, it's damn exciting!