on being sick

coffeeshop confession: i'm not very good at being sick. actually, i'm terrible at being sick. 

there's a reason why i use my accumulated "sick days" from work as "mental health days"...and that's because i hardly get ill enough to stay at  home. until now.

over the past three days, it has been a battle between me and the bug. you know, that annoying illness that moves from one person to another, leaving the poor victim with a sore throat, body aches, sniffles, and an overall shitty feeling. woe is me. 

after much (unnecessary) contemplation, i called in sick to work. for a real sick day. i knew there was nothing else i could do but stay in bed and rest. sleep. drink tea and sleep some more. although my body needed exactly that and nothing more, my mind fought the prospect of a do-nothing-but-lie-on-my-sick-laurels kinda day. it was tough. i wanted to run, but felt too weak. i wanted to study, but felt too tired. i wanted to bake, but couldn't imagine my sick hands preparing a treat to share with (healthy) others. i was doomed to the bed, under blankets and a hot water bottle.

but through it all - through my internal struggle and fight against "being ill" - g was there to take care of me. first thing in the morning, he sprays medication into my throat and makes a bowl of oatmeal for soothing. tea is prepared and a water bottle is heated. the lights are turned down and silence ensues. as i begin to regain energy and an appetite, we go on a bundled walk, drink hot toddy's, and eat chili in bed. 

and all the while, i forget that i feel weak and stuffy and ugly and achy and nasty. under g's care, i feel loved. as irritating as i probably was - giving myself a pity party because i couldn't do this or that - g stayed by my side with his healing hands. i might be uber emotional right now, but let me say this: i feel so incredibly lucky to spend the rest of my life with this guy who loves selflessly, who makes me stronger just by being present. 

snacky, thank you. xoxo