relax?!

this day will most definitely go into history: my first pelvic exam. OUCH! a small metal speculum sans lubricant, with no idea of what to expect is surely a recipe for disaster.

there i was, legs spread wide, creating a window for clear viewing. the doctor asked me to relax my legs. sure, no problem. legs, relaxed.

she then talked me through the process of the pelvic exam: speculum, pap smear, then her fingers. yes, i understand. let's do this.


as she prepared me (my labia, to be exact), dictating exactly what she was touching, i thought to myself: wow, this isn't so bad. and then the doctor said she was going to begin. what?! i thought she was almost finished.

in it went, the metal speculum. between moans and heart palpitations, i tensed up, locked my legs, and closed my viewing window. OUCH! the doctor asked me to focus on my breathing to help me relax. relax?! how can i relax with this excruciating pain? so out came the speculum. i had to relax so the doctor could finish the exam. again, she asked me to focus on my breathing before she would re-attempt. through my breathing exercises, i thanked the Lord for my practice with yoga and its constant attention to focused, rhythmic breathing. i was ready for attempt number two.

many moans, deep breaths, and a liter of sweat later, i lived through the second speculum, pap smear, and digital exam. clearly, it wasn't the most pleasant experience, but as my doctor said, "women are doing this every day." OUCH!