happy birthday, with love

today is g's birthday. he is with chase, hiking in malibu as we speak. when i asked g what he wanted to do to celebrate this day, he said he wanted to go on a hike...alone. at first, i didn't really understand why he would want to be alone on such an exciting, personal day. and that was just it - personal.

after some explanation, it all made sense. a birthday celebrates a year lived - the challenges and victories, the setbacks and growth. while we are constantly looking forward, a birthday forces us to stop, see ourselves wearing this new age, and give thanks for the journey getting here. on my birthday, i meditated while baking. today, g chooses to meditate while hiking.

as g is off on the trails, thinking about the man he is today and the past year it took to be here, i will celebrate his life with the sweetest joy i can possibly muster. i will bake him a cake.

"there is no room in my body for anything but you. my arms love you, my ears adore you, my knees shake with blind affection." -the princess bride

happiest of birthdays, my love. 

whew!

"whew" is all i have to say.

g and i, with our crew of four, survived our first major catering event. the days proceeding saturday were filled with shopping, detailing, and final food prep - batches and batches of roasted kabocha squash, lamb meatballs, puttanesca, lemon curd, chocolate truffle pudding, etc.

shopping at restaurant depot

saturday - the day of the event - started with last minute touches, set-up, and prayers that all would work out smoothly. the guests trickled in at 9 pm and continued their flow until 4 am the following morning. g headed the bar, mixing, shaking, and pouring cocktails until the very last song of the night was played. i was in the kitchen with another crew member prepping, plating, and sending out platters of hors d'oeuvres, aloof to the happenings outside the kitchen, trusting that the empty platters were a sign that the guests were eating and (hopefully) enjoying our food. 

the kitchen, before we unpacked and got to work

shalcy, my kitchen partner

chocolate battle wounds on the boob

g, working the bar

the night flew by with our hard work, challenges, and multi-tasking. for me, it was a glimpse into the food world - the long hours, the constant deliberating, the tests and trials, the hits and misses. there were moments when i asked myself why i even bothered to be a part of this; i was exhausted, frustrated, and feared that our hard work wouldn't be received well. but then at 4 am, after packing away the last dish, we gathered around the kitchen table, popped open a bottle of bubbly, and toasted to our achievements. guests thanked us throughout the night, the host was more than pleased, and we delivered what we set out to deliver: food made with love and served with gusto. 

we're definitely using these days to recover, getting back into our groove. who knows what will come of this or where we'll go next, but we are tremendously proud of ourselves and immensely grateful for the support of everyone who helped make this happen. bon appetit! 

MIA

i've been MIA lately.

no, i'm not putting in more hours at work, and i am far from flying out of the country for leisure. rather, i've been in the kitchen, at cooking supply stores, in food warehouses, and just about all over the place.

let me explain.

g was hired to bartend and prepare the food for an event in west la next saturday. let's be real, he was essentially hired to cater the event. hosted by some big-whig in the music industry, the event will have 200 guests and is being sponsored by Patron Tequila, Heineken, and some Champagne company. it's BIG. seeing this as an opportunity to network and get exposure, g signed on and has been going full force for the past couple of weeks.

and that's where i come in. g assembled a small crew of close friends with various experience in food/catering/marketing...and me. sure, we've hosted our fair share of dinner parties - planning, preparing, cooking, baking, serving - but this is far from a table of 12. we've been planning the menu, getting quotes for dish ware, calculating quantities of ingredients, taste-testing, going back and forth with the host, and so on.

it has been BUSY and stressful and exciting and exhausting and unbelievable at the same time. we are putting our hearts into this and producing amazing results along the way. we have no idea what the actual night will look like, but that's part of the fun. g and i are doing what we love best and we're doing it together. this time, it's just elevated. who knows what will come out of this or where g will land next, but one thing is certain: i will be by his side through thick and thin. i will be his rightwing through it all.

why is it so?

cravings. i'm always caught off guard by my random blows of intense cravings. they're not the sort of thing that ease their way into my thoughts, just one subtle hint after another. no, my cravings tend to come full force, beating me into submission. 

people say your body craves what it needs most, as if it were in a state of deprivation that could only be relieved by satisfying said craving. to be honest, i don't exactly know how my desire for chocolate during Mother Flow's visits support this theory, but hell, i'll take what i can get. 

this past week, i've been mad for eggs. scrambled, poached, fried - i want them all. when thinking about dinner, i imagine meals centered around the egg. how about braised lentils...with a fried egg! or what about a fritatta? mmm, i like the sound of slow-raosted tomatoes and farro accompanied by...a poached egg! 

perhaps my body needs the protein. maybe a hint of cholesterol. Mother Flow just left the building, so maybe the egg craving has some reproductive significance. whatever it is, i am determined to make my body proud and eat. those. EGGS!

a good sign

it's a good sign when your birthday week kicks off with being on-call from work...and NOT getting called in. all. day. long.

it's an even greater sign when that same week kicks off with the entire day spent at home with g, neither of us going to work.

it's a good sign when your birthday week kicks off with a trip to susie cakes to buy your brownie and it just so happens to be "chocolate cake day." a free slice of cake AND a brownie!

it's an even greater sign when that same week kicks off with a chocolate overload and it just so happens to be the week that Mother Flow makes her monthly visit.

i may be one of those people who feels a little giddy around her birthday and milks it for a week...or two. but there's a lot to be said about completing a full year of life and jumping into a new one. i'm thankful, and for good reason. i can (and probably will) get into the nitty gritty of how i feel about 27, but for now, i'll take these good signs and just go with the flow. c'mon, it's birthday week!

garden envy

the truth about living in a studio in west la (in southern california, for that matter) is that it's almost impossible to have a garden. no plot of land means no vegetation. no rain for months, no fertile soil. no time and care, no bounty. and it's a shame.

how i would love to plant my own herbs and greens; tend to my compost for nutritive soil; enjoy the fruits of my labor - physically, visually, emotionally. the little green monster comes out when i see lush gardens in people's yards or showcased in magazines. garden envy, it's real.

until now.

g and i agreed no space, however small or dry, should limit our possibilities of having a garden. we thought about what our backyard was capable of maintaining and made a plan: herb troughs, potted plants, and succulents. no plot of land or rain required.

after a home depot spree, backyard rearranging, and hours of playing with soil, i feel overjoyed. our space has even more life as it breathes and grows, changes as the days change. g and i created the oasis i once envied, and now i couldn't feel more at home. (well, at least in our space)!

if it's going to be summer...

if you live in southern california, you might know a thing or two about the current heat wave. the january-meets-freakin'-july weather absurdity. i feel gypped. all year, i long for those cozy days spent wearing wool socks and fleece, preparing a hearty meal while something heavenly bakes away in the oven. yeah, that's not happening these winter days.

lately, it's been all about sleeping in my underwear with the fan blowing; dreaming up refreshing no-bake citrus treats; running in the early morning to beat the heat; and hoping with everything i've got that we will have a chance at this winter thing in the coming weeks - ahem, my birthday. i know i can't control nature's indecisiveness, so really, there's no use in fretting about what it gives us. instead, i will try my darnedest to embrace this annoyingly beautiful weather and go with the flow.

one positive thing about this summer in january is that it makes me think of summers past, particularly those trips when g and i were off doing something liberating, our spirits clinching every ethereal moment. and i have to admit, summertime is pretty good about those moments.

"they came to sit and dangle their feet off the edge of the world and after awhile they forgot everything but the good and true things they would do someday." - brian andreas