50th birthday surprise...SUCCESS!

last saturday was mama's 50th birthday. for the past three weeks, i had been planning a surprise party with the help of my family. phone call after phone call. reservation after reservation. lie after white lie. wow! trying to keep this a secret was quite the feat. but it was worth it! to see mama's face...now that was priceless.

before...clueless

during

after!

24 guests. 1 extraordinary dessert cake. oodles and oodles of laughs and tears. such a lovely day to celebrate a woman of strength. inspiration. compassion. life. and love. happy birthday, mama!

aisle conversations

one of my favorite pastimes is grocery shopping. the produce, the colors, the variety, the aisles and aisles of pure delight. overworked? go smell some fruit. bored? go read some labels. lonely? go chat with some fellow shoppers. when it comes to grocery shopping, i may be a bit of a snob...i like specific items from specific stores. namely, trader joe's and whole foods. the best thing about my grocery-shop infidelity is that i get to spend more time perusing different aisles, occasionally running into familiar faces.

last weekend, i met a fellow morning shopper at trader joe's. there i was, deciding between pomegranate and honey greek yogurt, when "history" (i will refer to the shopper as "history" since that was his major in college) asked if i recommended the vanilla soy milk. it was a lovely few minutes, exchanging food preferences while scanning his basketful of items. we chatted about the glory of stocked shelves. we commented on the awkward music. and then we bid adieu with well wishes for a tasty week.

today, i stopped by whole foods for some last-minute ingredients. there i was, picking out a raspberry bar, when "history" called out "nurse!" so we meet again. we started our chat around the topic of after-dinner treats, to which i recommended the ginger bread. he then showed me his fresh salmon. i later remarked on the great watermelon sale. and that was it. we said our farewells and journeyed down our respective aisles. who knows when i'll see my friend again...trader joes? whole foods? oh the mystery!

on the edge of my seat

this morning i treated myself and bought a ticket for a performance by the cedar lake contemporary ballet. simply brilliant. this performance was absolutely stunning. it was raw. it was mesmerizing. there were layers and layers of emotion and subtle eroticism. the movement was fluid. it was pure and graceful. every bit of energy expelled in the form of art. and dance. even the lighting captured the moment. shadows. mystery.

i love how the movement imparts a drama from which emerges my own internal narrative. he said this so she did that. i often found myself on the edge of my seat, my heart pounding. i felt connected. sometimes people laughed when i wanted to cry. sometimes i giggled when there was complete silence. and that's exactly what i love about dance - it's all subject to interpretation. the story-line running through my mind may have very well been completely ridiculous to the stranger sitting next to me. but so be it. every minute of that show took my breath away. thank goodness for intermissions...time for some nice deep breaths.

a dose of inspiration

it seems as though life has grabbed me, taken me away from the familiar, exposing me to new dimensions with little time to prepare.

nursing school coming to an end. doors to the job market, opening and closing. speeches, washington d.c. trip, interviews, public health project, research paper. the beginning of mama's chemotherapy and radiation treatment. wow, 2010, you are quite the year.

feeling pressured, anxious, and a bit overwhelmed, i have to admit that finding joy in the simple things has been complicated. difficult. just plain hard. what is so natural has been clouded by fleeting thoughts of confusion. but then came the bus ride...

so there i was, riding the bus home, contemplating all the uncertainties. thought after thought - a jigsaw puzzle with mismatched pieces. but then as i looked at the window, what do i see? a ladybug! there it was...joy. simplicity. love. lucky or not, this ladybug brought a smile to my face and a huge sigh of relief. things really are being taken care of.

when i thought i had reached a climax, i was wrong. as soon as i stepped off the bus, i heard music. a saxophone being played by an old man on the corner. harmony. tenderness. pure beauty. for the first time in a while, i felt like me again. daily, i'm being reminded that it is very possible to find inspiration in the midst of challenge.

my revelation

lately, i've really been into wild arugula. it has a bite to it, a hint of pepper, a spiciness that i'm just loving. with this newly welcomed flavor, i've made the transition from the bland baby spinach to the lively arugula. and may i say that it has made quite the difference! my sandwiches have been awakened. my paninis - rejoicing. and my salads...oh, my salads.

my craving for asparagus quickly followed the addition of wild arugula into my repertoire. sautéed in some olive oil, sprinkled with lemon zest, and cut into pieces, my asparagus has been quite the newcomer. however, after a few days of eating these two pleasures together, i noticed something. a change. my body was telling me it was very aware of the new additions. some of you may flinch. others may completely understand. but my pee smelled.

now i know very good and well that asparagus is the source of this bodily manifestation. however, days into my meals of arugula and asparagus, i kept thinking it was the arugula. to be frank, the odor of my pee had the tiniest resemblance of arugula. and for some reason, i didn't think twice about it. maybe it was my utter fascination and pure excitement for this green. maybe every ounce of my body just couldn't get enough of it. whatever the reason, i was convinced that my change to arugula was the cause. and then came my revelation today: it was the asparagus all along. that sneaky asparagus. i guess i jazzed it up so much that i forgot about its cruel little games.

p3 unite

yesterday was a joyous occasion. it started with hugs and genuine excitement. it proceeded to a delightful lunch and conversation. it continued on to a stroll in santa monica and a CHEERS! over drinks. and just when you thought it couldn't get better, it did. coffee, tea, and treats. candlelight and comfort. familiarity and nostalgia. talk of 2014. amazing!

the occasion? abby and emma came to visit! our first roomie reunion since graduation. debrief to the max! i love every single minute i spend with them because i love them! p3 will forever melt my heart...

note: for those of you who don't know the significance of "p3," it refers to our last names: proctor, peterson, palmer

a taste of the old times

a different kind of ride

today i decided to ride my bike around town. it was the perfect day: apple-crisp air, one cloud here, another there, and wind with a mind of its own. every time i ride my bike, i inevitably ask myself why i don't do it more often. for one, i despise traffic. especially la traffic. but hop on the trusty bike, and POOF! traffic anxiety, be gone! and second, there's the absolute pleasure of peddling, of gliding down the street, of weaving between people, cars, you name it. my face breaking the wind ahead of me. my hair thankfully secured by its roots. my scarf, tailing behind. pure jubilation.

nothing looks the same when i'm on my bike. i ride down the street i walk every day, and the scene is just different. like i'm wearing glasses that transform the mundane into the lovely. the bright. the cheery. on my bike, i can't help but wave to everyone i pass...sometimes sing aloud the tune in my head. i can't help but capture the freedom, internalize it, and let it manifest as a smile. not even the wind can blow that off :o)